10 ways to annoy GALE HAWTHORNE
1. Tell him Katniss is pregnant. But no matter what the Capitol says, no one knows if the dad is Peeta, Cinna, Finnick or Haymitch.
2. Inform him on how good Peeta is with frosting. After an hour of lecture with visual aids, tell him that it’s a waste that no matter how good Katniss looks dressed in only cream and strawberries, Peeta destroys it all in a matter of seconds. Most of the time with his tongue.
3. Show him Katniss’ secret lake. Tell him Katniss meets a horned scaly dwarf with ten feet everyday here to screw.
4. Give him a postcard with Katniss’ picture in a wedding dress sitting on a white four-poster bed with rose petals all over and an innocent whip on the pillows. Write at the back, “Wish you were here! Love, Katniss.”
5. Tonight, tuck him to sleep. But just before he falls asleep, whisper close to his ear you’re sure both Peeta and Katniss are having a night a hundred times better than his.
6. Send him an exquisitely grand cake with bright red iced letters on top saying, ‘Thanks for ‘preserving’ Katniss for me. Lots of love, Peeta.’
7. Tell him that one time while Peeta and Katniss were making out, someone moaned his name. And it’s not Katniss.
8. Make him watch the surveillance cameras inside Katniss’ quarters in the train.
9. Post Katniss LOVE Peeta posters from the Capitol all over his house.
10. Use a snare to trap him up a tree. Make sure Peeta is trapped at another tree across, arms and legs splayed out and tied to tree branches, dressed in Finnick’s “artful” netting costume. Wish them a good night and leave with a wicked wink behind you.
(The writer of this fan fic: anatagasuki, would like to say thank you to all who loved this post!)
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